General Francis Shaw: From Puppy-Love Sweetheart to Pennywise’s Biggest Fanboy (aka The Villain We Didn’t Order)

You hate to see it.

Okay, straight up—General Francis Shaw has lived long enough to see himself become the villain. Yes, I’m crossing The Dark Knight with IT: Welcome to Derry because it MUST be done. The math is mathing.

See, back in the day lil’ ol’ France-wah (yeah, I spelled it like that) was just minding his business. Regular kid stuff. Obedient son. Pops was tough—but whose wasn’t? And honestly, that same toughness is what helped lil’ Franky meet Rose, his puppy-love boo thang. They played, chilled, talked… he was pure. Untouched. A soft lil’ daisy in the cold world until he wandered into that forest too many times and met Pennywise. Now, look—Penny did try to eat him, but Rose saved him and their bond grew stronger. For those keeping score: still on the hero path.

He grows up, joins the army, probably fought three wars before breakfast, and kept leveling up his Hero XP. But then the CIA got this man hooked on that stuff and—BOOM—Derry memories come flooding back. Only difference? Francis ain’t lil’ no mo’. He grown. He seen war. Real war. And now he lookin’ at Pennywise like, “Hmm… maybe this interdimensional demon clown is actually a tactical asset.”

Sir. Please.

Because the WHOLE show he tawmbout unleashing Pennywise on America’s enemies, and EVERYONE—literally EVERYONE—is telling him it’s a bad idea. But he won’t listen because his superiors want their shiny new cosmic nuke. So Francis ropes a buncha brothas into this mess, runs ops, plays puppet master, and FINALLY gets his hands on a shard of Pennywise’s cage. And what does he do? He lets that fool loose.

Then this man says—with his whole chest—that he wants to release Penny on the YOU ESS of AYE because he mad about race riots, women’s liberation, and social change in general.

BRUH. How you fall this far? You were a delicate flower. A kid who found love in small-town Derry. Now you a grown man who don’t care how many kids get chewed up.

SIDEBAR: Pennywise ain’t even cleaning his whole plate. If you gon’ eat kids (don’t), at least respect the meal. Why you takin’ big cartoon bites and leaving the rest like you full? This is chaos AND wasteful.

Anyway—back to Francis. He and his superiors out here like, “We gon’ use this interdimensional being to control the ‘undesirables.’” In the SAME country they live in. Homie and his homettes are so pressed that not everybody is sipping the Good Ol’ US Kool-Aid, they’re ready to burn EVERYTHING down—including themselves—just because folks don’t vibe with their worldview anymore.

Francis… my guy… you the villain now. SMH. You hate to see it.

PS: You KNOW Penny gon’ eat Francis too. He the McNugget Meal that got away.

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